he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
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I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.