I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
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i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
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He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar