But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
