Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
