new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
