This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
