tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
