After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
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I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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