Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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