wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize