Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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