dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
