I could make wine with my vomit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love you. Go after that dick
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
