It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
