So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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