The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
