one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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