Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
