I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
