Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
