I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
