I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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