I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I need a beard to bite.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
