Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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