i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
True but thats because hes a fetus.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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