Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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