I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
