Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
