Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
