we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
