did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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