Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So gin and wine won't be happening again
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
