Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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