Cold hands, warm shart.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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