do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
