Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
