She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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