TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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