I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
