This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
