is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
