So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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