i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is Oprah even human
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
