My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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