It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
