my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
