You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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