thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
