So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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