Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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