I wish i was in the wii world.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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