Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
