Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I had to cum in my sink.
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