DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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