nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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