I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
