Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
