Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
