Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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