by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
