it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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