I need help removing her.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
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