i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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